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This one was purchased at Grocery Outlet (abbreviated “the Gross-Out”). If you’re not familiar with Grocery Outlet, it’s where groceries go to die.

Raisels: The Fruity Flavored Raisins! Because raisin-flavored is not a fruit.

Oh goody! A free joke with every purchase? I would like for you to know that there were six boxes in a package, and they all contained the same joke.

Plus, Raisel Empire?! I don’t get it. You changed the only word that makes your punchline relevant.

Let’s check out the ingredients. Well… at least Raisins are the first ingredient. That’s good, right?

Here’s a close-up so you can see exactly how much sugar is on each raisin. I also wanted to be sure to get the word “Healthy” in frame.

As soon as I opened the box, I was punched in the face with orange Lysol odor. Seriously, you could just open a box and use it as an air freshener.

Oh right, I’m supposed to eat it.

After a recent streak of bad new food experiences, I’m understandably wary.

Of course they taste good. It’s freakin’ candy.

It’s what Sour Patch Kids would taste like if they were made out of raisins. Still delicious, and nothing at all like raisins.

P.S. 66% sugar by weight. Holy crap!


Check out more “Adventures in eating.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 30, 2010 2:44 pm

    Thanks for your interest in Raisels, a 4-flavor line of sour-flavored Golden Raisins. Each 1.25oz box of Raisels contains 23g of sugar. Sugar is a natural ingredient found in raisins. A similar sized serving of “regular” raisins contains 21g of sugar suggesting only 10% added sugar, which is a lot less than Dried Cranberries. For further information, please refer to our website,

    Thanks Benicia!

    • November 30, 2010 7:00 pm

      Thanks for your interest in my blog, a place where I share interesting things I think, see, and make. Each post contains 12 oz of humor. Humor and snarkiness are natural ingredients of the internet. A similar-sized food review in a magazine might contain 7 oz of jokes, suggesting that I only added 42% comical mocking, which is a lot less than YouTube. For further information, please refer to my website

      Thanks Hepworth!

      P.S. Who writes your jokes?

      • December 16, 2010 10:35 am

        Hi! Was wondering if you mind if I post your photo of you eating our raisels on our Raisels facebook page ( We have a tab to put pictures of people enjoying them and I thought the photo of you enjoying them would be a good one to post. I just wanted to ask you first. Thank’s ~

      • December 16, 2010 12:32 pm

        Thank you for asking. I’d prefer if you didn’t post the picture. I’m sure you understand.


  2. Tina permalink
    December 13, 2010 6:53 pm

    Wow I bought the same ones @ Grocery Outlet this week in Wa
    (good joke) people give me crap about that store, but still my favorite(is that sad)? Anyway I noticed the same joke on all boxes I too thought that was lame.
    My first thought after tasting it was wow better than sour patch candy. Definately not a healthy snack… but I enjoyed it!
    btw Nice Dimple =)

  3. December 16, 2010 12:54 pm

    Ok, thanks!

  4. June 11, 2011 8:21 pm

    Oh geez, I am laughing so hard. Your comments are almost better than the post itself!

  5. Mike H permalink
    January 7, 2012 1:43 pm

    I love this! Could you please review the other 3 flavors in subsequent reviews?

  6. April 23, 2012 6:22 pm

    Haven’t you heard? Sugar is not
    fat apparently. I keep wondering
    how long we’re going to let them
    use the healthy lable on poisons
    other then fats.

  7. Dawn Revetta permalink
    April 11, 2014 6:08 pm

    Where can I get some of these. I’ve been everywhere and can’t find them. Thank you

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