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114: Biography of my bag.

May 26, 2012

This is my bag.

I love my bag.

I seldom go anywhere without it, and it’s full of everything I would ever need. Some would say that makes it a purse, and they would be right. I carry a purse, and it’s great.

So, I figured I’d dedicate a post to one my all-time-favorite tools–my bag.

Let’s start with the buttons:

Here’s a handy reference sheet, just because it’s more fun this way.

  1. Felt spatula made by my good friend Susanna
  2. Creepy two-headed doll pin
  3. CBC logo pin, because I’m a Canadaphile. …
  4. Etsyrain pin. They gave it to me at a craft show, and I had room.
  5. The best whale button ever!
  6. Remember Book It? In elementary school they gave you a star for every book you read, and when you collected 5 stars, Pizza Hut would give you a free personal pan pizza. Bribery works, people.
  7. “Plush You.”
  8. “Take the Pepsi Challenge!” It’s not only an awesome button, it’s big enough to cover the Boeing logo that’s on my bag, so people stop asking me if I work there.
  9. “Atheist” ambigram by yours truly.
  10. Some cute little bird?
  11. “I don’t believe you.” An excellent conversation starter.
  12. Some sparkly elephant thing. I found it at a thrift store, and the price was right (probably about $0.15).
  13. The Stranger. Seattle’s only newspaper.
  14. “Vote for Joe Holloran. Careb President 76. Pueblo Board of Realtors.” He looks funny.
  15. “AFL/CIO Retail Clerks Union October 1977” I think it’s a pretty button.
  16. “listen to THE magnetic fields” because I do.

So, that’s all cool, but what’s inside my bag?
What are the things I can’t live without that I always carry with me?
I’m so glad you asked:

  1. Chess/backgammon set. I’ve got to be prepared for anything. I don’t play backgammon, but it was attached. Maybe someday I’ll learn.
  2. Earplugs. Because I’m the type of person who wears them at concerts, but then you probably already assumed that when you saw the chessboard. Get off my lawn!
  3. Fortune cookie fortune (Is there a better way to say that?): “You are headed in the right direction. Trust your instincts.” I’m not normally one for inspirational quotes, but I am one for eating cookies and not cleaning out my bag regularly.
  4. Smart phone. (latest addition)
  5. Letter-pressed greeting cards with my name on them. If someone ever does something nice for me, they can get a thank you card on the spot… I still have them all.
  6. Yankee yarmulke. I’m not Jewish, but you never know when it might come in handy. Actually, this is another one of those things I acquired and never took out of the bag.
  7. Sketch book #1. Pages and pages of blank paper.
  8. Pocket tripod. Actually, it’s a quadpod.
  9. SD disk. Full of important files and secret microfiche.
  10. Flashlight.
  11. Bluetooth phone handset. You never know when you need to perform some light slapstick.
  12. Headphones #1.
  13. Zune. Yes, Zune. Shut up. It’s a good product.
  14. Inhaler. Nerds represent! I can’t tell you how excited I was when I was told I should start carrying one by a doctor. Now, if I could just get some glasses.
  15. Multitool w/ backup flashlight. Bring on a blackout, I dare you!
  16. Black Sharpie with a dull tip.
  17. Fancier black Sharpie. Hands off, point smasher. You can borrow the other one.
  18. Blue Sharpie.
  19. Some string. How many times have you needed some string but didn’t have any? Well, whose fault is that?
  20. Black Micron 005
  21. Red Micron 005
  22. Black Micron 05. I used to have a few others, but it was totally unnecessary.
  23. Charging cord
  24. BooBerry Chapstick. Like the cereal.
  25.  Titanium drinking straw. Totally necessary.
  26. Altoids
  27. Scissors
  28. Tylenol
  29. Business cards
  30. Sketchbook #2. For scratch paper and pre-sketches. Gotta keep the real sketchbook looking good.
  31. Headphone splitter. Now we can both listen to this hilarious podcast. Yes, Zunes get podcasts. Shut up.
  32. Stamp ink pad.
  33. Backup deodorant. You’re welcome.
  34. Lighter. I don’t smoke, I just like fire.
  35. Printer’s loupe (12x magnifying glass). Now you know who to call when you get a splinter.
  36. Toothpicks in a carrying case.
  37. Stamp box.
  38. Stamp in the shape of my face. Works as a signature.
  39. Moist towelette. I used to have more. I need to restock.
  40. Nail clippers.
  41. Matches (see 34).
  42. Headphones #2, for sharing or backup.
  43. Mustache comb. I could probably do away with this, now that I’m no longer sporting the handlebar.
  44. Some antennae thing I found. It telescopes, which is useful, and it has an interesting shaped end, so it could be an excellent long-range honey stealer if given the opportunity.
  45. Knife/clip. For when you need to to secure a knife to your pants.
  46. Mustache wax. I could definitely do away with this, now. But it is great stuff.
  47. Lotion. Some people get rough elbows. It’s normal.
  48. Chopsticks. Like carrying a fork, but more useful.
  49. Pencil. Seriously? I only have one pencil in this whole bag? What happened to my others?
  50. Not pictured: The camera I took this shot with.

Whoa. I didn’t plan on exactly 50 things. Cool. Here’s a few closeups:

So what do you think? Am I missing something?

What do you carry with you everywhere?

12 Comments leave one →
  1. nathankoob permalink
    May 26, 2012 6:08 pm

    This reminds me of my Homestarrunner bag which I was very sad that I had to stop carrying because I almost completely wore the bottom out of it (and they no longer carry messenger bags on the site). In my replacement bag I always have a wide assortment of pens and pencils, a small notebook, my flash drive, post-its, notecards, my ipod nano (I don’t hate on the Zune though), headphones, swiss army knife, staple remover, lighter, small fishing knife, mini-stapler and I think that’s about it.

    • May 26, 2012 8:36 pm

      Oh, a stapler. That would be a good addition. Or some tape. Some kind of fastener. I used to carry duct tape, but I used it all up.

      • nathankoob permalink
        May 27, 2012 7:10 pm

        Yeah, the mini-stapler is pretty awesome and uses regular sized staples. This is to say, I would highly reccomend the PaperPro Nano. It’s one solid piece of hard plastic as opposed to a mini-Swingline I used to have which constantly fell apart and I ultimately had to throw away b/c it warped. I have tried to carry scotch tape on multiple occasions, but something always happens to it so it’s always a temporary addition.

  2. May 26, 2012 11:42 pm

    Dude….. you carry more crap in that bag than I do in my purse, which is smaller than your sketchbook – and I have 4 kids! I like the duct tape idea though – might have to upgrade the purse for that one?

  3. May 28, 2012 12:43 pm

    As someone with OCD, I can say that the way you laid out all the stuff in your bag with everything parallel was very pleasant to look at. And good for you for carrying a purse! They’re so handy, and you shouldn’t feel like you can’t carry one just because you’re a man. And it doesn’t even look like a purse anyway.

  4. May 28, 2012 5:21 pm

    It’s a good collection. I like it. One omission — an assortment of safety pins. Zippers fail, pockets rip, sometimes things just need to be pinned together. Unless you’re going to use your “I don’t believe you” pin to fasten your fly. Definitely a conversation starter that way.

  5. Andrew permalink
    May 30, 2012 9:21 am

    I thought you’d get more use out of the Yankees yarmulke. Though I am glad that the face stamp is part of your regular load.

  6. May 30, 2012 10:30 pm

    1. Sharpie(s)
    2. Gel ink pen
    3. Kiel’s lip stuff with SPF
    4. Molskein
    5. Calling cards

    Everything else is bonus and/or can be purchased in extremis.

  7. Deborah Hepworth permalink
    June 13, 2012 7:55 am

    Nice! I’m going traveling with you as you will have everything I might forget.

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