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88: Cupcake Diffuser

November 26, 2011

First things first: Welcome, new subscribers! Thanks for checking out the blog, and please allow me to alienate up to half of you with the following highly controversial statement.

I don’t really like cupcakes.

I mean, I’m not going to turn you down if you offer me one. But as I’m eating a cupcake, I can’t help thinking how much better it would be if it was just a regular slice of plate-and-fork cake. I could go on, but this post isn’t about bashing cupcakes, it’s about averting disaster!

Cupcakes are hot right now, and as a result, everybody has an opinion on the subject. Because of this, bringing cupcakes to a social gathering can be dangerous. It’s practically an open invitation to start an argument. So, how do we solve this potential party faux pas?

Fear not, and be prepared for the inevitable with the Cupcake Diffuser!

Pictured above is the (patent pending) Cupcake Diffuser. It is simply a cake with cupcake-shaped holes already baked in. All you have to do is bring this negative-cupcake to any party, and when someone shows up with cupcakes, fill the holes. Crisis averted.

“But what if no one shows up with cupcakes?” you might ask. Yeah, right… Someone will.

Here’s how I made it:

I started out with a plan. A glorious plan. Above, you can see the little foil legs that comprise step one of this plan.

The little legs provide support for a muffin tin with the underside greased. It floats just a half-inch above the bottom of the larger baking pan.

Then we pour in the cake batter. The ultimate goal here is to create a cake with the impression of the muffin tin in the top.

And maybe if I had greased it more, it would have worked… who knows?

Instead, what happened was the muffin tin adhered firmly to the top of the cake, and would not release, no matter what I did. That didn’t work, but then you knew that if you counted the cupcake holes in the original picture.

I think if I had put the muffin tin upside-down with the cups pointing up like a bundt cake tin, it may have worked better, but there’s no time for that now. It’s Friday night, and I have a something due this week.

Alright, plan B.  How about we just bake a cake and cut out circles? It’s less elegant of a solution, but…

…at least, I’m fairly sure it will work. This method will have to do until I can get some custom anti-cupcake pans built.

I decided to only make 5 holes for structural integrity’s sake. I would recommend 6  in most cases, though. Cupcakes tend to come in half-dozens.

But that’s it! Gaze in wonder at the Cupcake Diffuser! Such a powerful tool, such a simple design.

Just unwrap, and drop them in.

And you’re done.

Slice and serve. This chocolate/vanilla combo looks pretty cool.

So, bring one to your next party, and enjoy cake on plates, with forks, like adults.

See ya next week, when I’ll do something entirely unrelated.

24 Comments leave one →
  1. November 26, 2011 2:50 am


  2. November 26, 2011 7:01 am

    That is awesome. I prefer a regular slice of cake myself. Cupcakes get crumbs everywhere.

  3. November 26, 2011 10:00 am

    That’s awesome! And especially I like that you fill it with cupcakes made from a different batter 🙂

  4. November 26, 2011 1:08 pm

    Forget about the cupcakes — forget the marble. This is a terrific way to mix flavors into a cake.

  5. Annie permalink
    November 26, 2011 4:32 pm

    Looks lovely, and quite clever. I have one suggestion: it needs more bacon.

    • November 26, 2011 5:16 pm

      I considered it, in order to hit the big 2 food groups of the internet.

  6. November 26, 2011 8:29 pm

    That’s it we can no longer be friends. I mean who doesn’t like CUPCAKES???? Okay you told me this years ago but still. The frosting to cake ratio is what makes a cupcake so GOOD.

    • December 1, 2011 9:26 am

      See, this is exactly the same reason
      I prefer standard cake. My aunt brought
      over cupcakes this thanksgiving that
      were three times as big as a cupcake
      should be, and in a variety of flavors.
      I had cookie and cream only to learn
      that cookie and iceing wasent nearly
      as good. The cake part was better,
      but the thing was only 20% cake. I
      could used someone like you, to help
      me finnish it.

  7. November 26, 2011 9:04 pm

    Did you always have that many subscribers? Or were they the people from a party who wondered as to who came up with such an idea? :v

  8. November 27, 2011 12:24 am

    This is the best idea I’ve seen this week 😀

  9. November 27, 2011 6:47 am

    I must say I think I’m even more controversial, because I don’t even like cake in general. :/ I like very dense pastries like brownies and if a cake is thick and gooey enough I will eat it, but otherwise I avoid the normal sponge cakes with all that buttercream slathered on top – yelch.

    but your idea looks so brilliant and fun that i would totally do it if I ever have a house party! (other people will just have to eat the cake.)

  10. November 27, 2011 2:35 pm

    I’m stunned and impressed with the knowledge and creativity.

  11. Susanna permalink
    November 28, 2011 7:20 pm

    I want that frosting, Kyle. I want it so bad.

  12. November 29, 2011 11:56 am

    Next week do something with cats…everybody loves cats. Like cupcakes they are also tasty.

  13. Lynn Bull permalink
    November 29, 2011 1:46 pm

    from G.G.G. I wish I’d thought of this – It certainly looks a lot more tasty than the ones I used to make.

  14. November 29, 2011 9:40 pm

    Just frosting please. No cupcake, no cake, nothing tainting the pureness of the yummy, brightly colored, sugar infused, frosting. Thank you.

    I’m sending this to my girlfriend who makes tons (and that might be literal) of cupcakes btw.

    I only eat the frosting from those too. ;P

    (LOVE this idea though!)

  15. November 30, 2011 7:46 pm

    Awesome!! I love me some (cup)cake!

  16. December 1, 2011 8:43 am

    Perhaps you could call it the “Illudium Q-36 Cupcake Modulator,” one in a long line of fine Q-36 Modulator products.

  17. December 1, 2011 9:30 am

    When I saw this article I knew
    you’de be teaching us to diffuse
    cupcake bombs – I thought if you
    just blew out the candle . . . but I
    still get frosting all over my face.
    Your device is indeed effective.

  18. December 2, 2011 8:29 pm

    The upside the not greasing a cupcake tin and accidently destroying a cake?

    If it’s not salvagable, there is no reason for you not to eat it then and there. (Mmmm… Cake.)

  19. kirinjirafa permalink
    December 10, 2011 11:12 am

    Aw, c’mon! Cupcakes are just CUTE!
    This is so funny.

  20. April 7, 2013 2:47 pm


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