37: Stealth PDA Glove
Those winter weather gloves can put a damper on your hand-holding plans, but don’t be glum. I’ve got the perfect solution.
From the outside, it looks like two gloved hands in a standard unsatisfying gloved embrace, but the inside holds a secret. Skin contact!
Shielded from the cold and prying eyes, the true extent of your forbidden hand-holding can go unnoticed by all. You can even interlock your fingers (AKA the Mormon French Kiss).
If you’d like to make a pair for yourself or see how I made mine, I did my best to document the process, but it’s more of a sculpture than a standard sewing project, so a good spacial imagination helps.
First you need to cut the palm out of a glove. I cut the thumb out too, basically everything that faces inward. The next step will be to make cuts up the front of each finger, like I started here.
Then you cut up the fingers and sew them together. You can use the sewing machine here to speed it up, if you can get it in there. Make sure to trim off as much excess as possible. Yes, it would be easier to start with a mitten, but not nearly as cool. Yes, it would also be easier to use gloves with fewer layers, but… shut up.
Now we’ve created a half-mitten from a glove. We’ll do the same to the next glove. (Don’t forget you should make a left and a right. Hand-shaking is right-to-right but hand-holding is left-to-right.)
This one had rubbery grips on the fingers that I didn’t want to cut through. Seam rippers away!
Great. Now, that we’ve ruined two gloves, what do we do next?
Imagine a pair of held hands, or just look at this drawing. If your gloves are different sizes, as mine are, you should test your hand-holding to see what configuration is more natural. Does person 1 or person 2 wear bigger gloves? Here’s where the decision needs to be made. When Megan and I hold hands, I am person 2 above (The arrow indicates the direction of walking). You could also factor in right or left preference, but you probably should have done that before you cut out the palms.
Of course if you both wear the same size glove, then it’s not important.
Now, we make a few more cuts to fit the patterns shown here. You can see that wherever thumbs and fingers overlap the other glove, I’ve taken a bite out of the glove.
Like so. Just eyeball it.
Then you line up the thumbs, and start sewing. I recommend hand sewing. It’s easier to force things to fit when you’re sewing by hand, and since I told you to eyeball it, there will be a lot of forcing things to fit. But don’t worry, it’ll all work out, probably.
You can see the glove wants to start shaping itself as we turn the corners. I sew most of it inside out, and check as I go. The inside is messy.
But the outside looks alright.
Here, it’s mostly complete, with one long seam left to sew. Look at all that warm spaciousness inside.
And then you’re done.
P.S. Some may claim that a “stealth public display of affection” is actually a “private display of affection.” But, the initials are still the same, so the title remains relevant.
P.P.S. Additional uses:
Works as a single-person prayer glove, if you’re so inclined. I hear skin contact is the key to getting God’s attention.
Or just walk around like this. It’s pretty freaky: